Complicated

When I was a kid, I had a clear goal set in life that I must study well and score well for better future. I must avoid distractions, concentrate on studies in securing more marks. It was crystal clear and I followed it with all my strength and excelled in the education part of life but post-education life, there is another life, real life which awaits. That is too much complicated without any clear goals.

When I completed my engineering and started to work, even before I could complete one year in corporate professional life, this question started to hit me hard. Whats goal now ? I don’t have exams in company to get more marks, or study well. I just have to come to office, work, learn, meet friends/colleagues, rest for two days weekend, get salary after a month and cycle repeats. Initially, I had to spend most of the salary in closing all existing loans of my parents which use to give such a huge satisfaction but once that is done, I have no idea on how to spend the salary. I was bogged down with biggest question of my life, whats the new goal ?

I had an uncle, mother’s brother, who was an idol to me. He had answers to all my questions, he use to see the potential in me, use to ask puzzles to excite and train my brain. I asked him this question back then, whats the goal of life since now eduction is finished? He was silent. Even he couldn’t answer. I was astonished that finally I had a question for which he doesn’t have any answer. But still the question remained as a question only. No one could give me any answer to this.

Without parents to guide, life moved on, without any clear goals, just going with the flow. Several obstacles came in between, faced them, passed through them, learnt lessons and continued. But whats the goal of life ? Where is the life heading to? What am I suppose to do in my life? I was like that molted iron which will take the shape in whichever pattern its put into. Unknowing what I really want, just passing time as it appears.

When I use to see others (friends), they were clearing one after other milestones of life heading with some clear guidance in life towards some goal probably. But I seem to remain still. Friends bought new car, new flat, got married, having kids, helping society, following their passion like photography, music, traveling etc. While I feel, without clear goals, I’m stuck. I am still in 2011 where I asked this question out load and no one answered and I am still in search of answer.

When we were in school/college, life was quite simple. We use to have a clear goal and a detailed manual of student life. There use to be teachers who can help us navigate through life. But once education is finished, the life is too much complicated. Each one has their own goals and rules in life and start following it up. Several complex things like relationships, finance, society, religion becomes our subjects of life. Unlike engineering or medical or Law subjects, there are no books or clear things written on these topics.  These new life topics are crazy and too much complicated and depends upon each individual to deal with.

When you grow old, things start to clear up. There is nothing clear cut right or wrong, its all what you decide and choose to believe in. Life after eduction is grey. Few set of people believe in something and make it as their goal in life while others will be quite opposite of it but still lead their life as though that is correct. I hope, you get what I am talking about. It may be about relationships, religion, something satire in society, or political motive etc. It's all about your perception.

I have been tried to get moulded in many shapes but none I felt are comfortable. I don’t know which shape I am going to take but whatever shape I take, bottom line to ensure is, I must be happy. Happiness is what all matters at the end of the day. If you are unhappy, doesn’t matter how good you are as per society, religion, relationship, finance, how much you earn nothing matters, its all waste and not worth it. As long as you are happy, nothing matters.

Few lines in similar context borrowed from an answer from Quora to a question, "Whats the purpose of life?":- The only reality we know is the one we feel so the only purpose of life can be to “feel”. Feel happy, feel fulfilled. “feel” an unabashed desire to work towards what truly gives us a feeling of happiness and fulfillment. In a world where we are questioning our very existence, the only truth that matters is the one you choose to live.