Since very long days, i use to wonder about a magic. There was one guy called ShivShankar. I didn’t know him personally, but I never use to like him because of his over smartness, which always he uses to show. He uses to insult others by mocking for fun. Most of the people around him use to hope bad for him. As long as he was in the sight of all others, he use to drag attention & uses to act like, he is super-cool , not feared, not scared, knows everything, very perfect, strong, self-capable of doing everything, don’t need anybody’s help etc etc like a super-hero.
Alas there was a strange thing that whenever he used to be in trouble or needed a favor then one or the other fellow use to help him out. Always use to wonder, who use to help or do a favor to a person, who behaves stupidly, acts like a jerk all the time? Surprisingly, the people who use to help him were very good & kind people beside of his stupidest behavior.
I use to think, what does he use do to those people who use to help him, when truly needed? What magic does he use to do on them? This was a wonderful magic. All we want in our life during bad time is some good, kind person to do a favor or help us when we are in need. But this fellow always uses to behave silly & stupid to me, but somehow he use to get right people to help him genuinely, when in trouble. According to me, he was a magician indeed!
Now to tell you honestly, there is no ‘one’ guy called ShivShankar. It is just a metaphor. In fact you might have also come across ShivShankar’s.
So these ShivShankar’s, who behave/act silly or stupidly sometimes/always and still get good friends or closed ones to help them out, when needed, are really magicians? If so, what is their magic? How did they use to get connect with people? These questions use to pop me all the time.
Last week, I attended training in our office on OOPS concepts. For non-technical readers, OOPS stands for Object Oriented Programming System. To summarize, it taught me that, ‘class’ is something which has private & public members. Public is something, which is shared with rest of the world, but private isn’t. This realized me something about humans. Even humans have public & private behaviors/feelings. The public feeling or behavior is the one which we show to rest of the world, but deep inside, we too have private behavior or feeling which we never want share with world.
Enough of technical comparison let us come to reality. In real, we always want to show our bright sides to the world. We always try to show our confident side. We always want to show that we are capable of doing everything on our own. We never want to show our insecurity, our fear, our desperate need of help, what we are afraid of, how bad we are at something etc. Everyone always wants to show that they are emotionally very strong all by themselves. But truth is, with no denial, we all have bright & dark sides. Like the objects of the class in OOPS, we never want to share our dark side with anyone.
Back to OOPS concept, surprisingly there is something called, ‘friend function’. I didn’t name it. Its already there in OOPS. Check if you want[:)].So what does this friend function do? This function is the one, through which you can share even your private member with other class objects! By this, even other classes can access your private members & help in computation & updating your private data.
Coming out of technical zone and back to ShivShankar, what do you think, ShivShankar use to do? He uses to have a friend function! :P
The magic what ShivShankar use to do is, sharing honestly his fear, insecurity & week part with somebody whom he trusted. He use to tell, how he really felt. Along with bright side, showing dark side is necessary to get connected with people genuinely.
So finally revealing the magic “Usually we don't want people to know that we are scared inside, its considered weak. This is what we all think. But the truth is, it’s not. The best thing about letting people know how you really feel, is then, No matter how big jerk you behave in front of all, they still show up to you when times are bad"
